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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Daniel Craig Takes Home Pretty Good Actor Award

LOS ANGELES—As industry insiders had been predicting for weeks, Daniel Craig was a big winner at last night’s 85th Academy Awards ceremony after the 44-year-old actor took home the Pretty Good Actor Award, Hollywood’s highest achievement in doing a fairly solid job at acting in a movie. “It’s an honor even to be nominated alongside such decent actors who aren’t going to change your life but are still, you know, reliably pretty good in the right movie,” said Craig, referring to fellow nominees and perfectly fine actors Dennis Quaid, Jude Law, Sam Worthington, and Eric Bana. “I have to thank Sam [Mendes, director] for getting a passable enough performance out of me. Hopefully we can make another not-amazing-but-not-too-bad movie together some day.” Other notables receiving awards included Eh, Perfectly Fine Director winner Bryan Singer and Prometheus, which won for Mostly Okay Picture.

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