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Dating and Relationships

Man Tinkering With Anecdote Set List Before Next Date

PORTLAND, OR—Saying that he wants to provide a unique, enjoyable listening experience that draws from all periods of his life, area man Ian Watts told reporters Wednesday that he has been tinkering with his set list of anecdotes ahead of an upcoming...
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Dating and Relationships

Dating Profile Flatly States Man Looking For Someone He Can Control

PHOENIX—Providing a brief summary of who he is and what he considers most important for a successful relationship, area man Todd Waterson’s OkCupid profile flatly states he is looking for someone he can control, sources confirmed this week. “I’m an adventurous, fun-loving guy who’s seeking a long-term relationship with a special woman I can psychologically and emotionally manipulate,” read Waterson’s profile in part, which went on to note that he is an IT professional who enjoys traveling and using an insidious blend of belittlement, neglect, and highly selective praise to keep his partner in a perpetual state of fear and uncertainty about her worth. “Sharing the same values matters a lot to me, so it’s important we see eye to eye on me being allowed to decide everything we do and dictating how you should conduct yourself at all times. My ideal match is someone who’s cute and becomes so worn down emotionally that she feels incapable of making a decision about whether she can go out, how much she can speak in social situations, and even what she can wear without my approval. If that sounds like you send me a message!” Waterson’s profile also stated that he would prefer somebody who wants kids and will shoulder the entire responsibility of raising them.

Dating and Relationships

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