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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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David Beckham No Longer Allowed On Playing Field For Insurance Reasons

LOS ANGELES—L.A. Galaxy club officials said Monday that, under the terms of the insurance policy intended to protect their $250 million investment in star midfielder David Beckham, they would under no circumstances permit the high-priced Beckham to play soccer for them ever again. "We would have to be crazy to expose David to a hazard-filled game, situation, stadium, or even let him set foot in our potentially harmful training facilities," Galaxy head coach Frank Yallop said. "We have a quarter of a billion dollars invested in him, and our policy will not allow him to play in a game where physical contact, while rare, has been known to occur, as even a minor nagging injury could prevent Beckham from performing his primary duty of representing us in public." Galaxy executives addressed concerns that his wife Victoria will break him by announcing plans to encase Beckham in a protective block of Lucite, only taking him out for special promotional occasions.

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