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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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David Eckstein Hints To Parents That He Wants Birthday Cake Designed Like Hamburger

ST. LOUIS—Ever since walking into a Baskin Robbins with his parents after one of his professional baseball games, Cardinals shortstop David Eckstein has constantly hinted that he would like an ice-cream cake resembling a hamburger, a Baskin Robbins specialty, for his next birthday. "Wow! Isn't that so crazy, how that cake looks just like a hamburger even though it's a cake, Mom? It's so cool!" Eckstein said of the cake, which features a "bun" crafted from chocolate frosting and "sesame seeds" of white-chocolate sprinkles. "Boy, I bet that cool hamburger cake would make someone's birthday really extra-special." Although Eckstein's birthday is in January, his parents secretly purchased the cake during their last Baskin Robbins outing and intend to surprise him with it the next time he hits a double.

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