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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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David Eckstein Hints To Parents That He Wants Birthday Cake Designed Like Hamburger

ST. LOUIS—Ever since walking into a Baskin Robbins with his parents after one of his professional baseball games, Cardinals shortstop David Eckstein has constantly hinted that he would like an ice-cream cake resembling a hamburger, a Baskin Robbins specialty, for his next birthday. "Wow! Isn't that so crazy, how that cake looks just like a hamburger even though it's a cake, Mom? It's so cool!" Eckstein said of the cake, which features a "bun" crafted from chocolate frosting and "sesame seeds" of white-chocolate sprinkles. "Boy, I bet that cool hamburger cake would make someone's birthday really extra-special." Although Eckstein's birthday is in January, his parents secretly purchased the cake during their last Baskin Robbins outing and intend to surprise him with it the next time he hits a double.

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