adBlockCheck

Best of Election 2015

End Of Section
  • More News

David Koch Delivers Suit With Note Reading ‘Wear This Tonight’ To Marco Rubio’s Hotel Room

NEW YORK—Leaving the package directly on the center of the bed for the senator to discover upon his arrival, billionaire industrialist David Koch delivered a suit with a note reading “Wear this tonight” to Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio’s room at the Waldorf Astoria hotel Wednesday, sources confirmed. “Cannot wait to see you in this,” read the message handwritten on textured card stock and sealed in an envelope stamped with a red wax “K,” which sources confirmed was affixed to a Valentino box containing a black three-piece single-breasted suit that, upon slipping it on, Rubio discovered was tailored to his exact measurements. “You’ll find me in the ballroom at 7:30.” Sources later confirmed that, after examining his reflection in a full-length mirror, Rubio wiped away a single tear, took a deep breath, and walked out his hotel room’s door.


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close