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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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David Ortiz, Jason Bay Yet To Complete Elaborately Choreographed Handshake

BOSTON—Upon returning to the dugout following a two-run homerun Sunday, Red Sox Nos. 3 and 5 hitters David Ortiz and Jason Bay were unable to finalize the choreography of what will eventually become their signature congratulatory handshake. "No. You always point up to Jesus last," said Ortiz, Boston's leading slugger and head choreographer. "I like you, Jason. You're funny. But, come on, it goes slap, slap, bash, nod, hug, spin, slap, pose, cross arms, point. Not slap, slap, bash, nod, hug, spin, point, slap, cross arms, pose. I don't know why we would ever do that." In addition to their handshake woes, Ortiz and Bay have announced a delay in creating a dual nickname for themselves after Kevin Youkilis told them that "Jason Ortiz" was stupid and would never catch on.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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