adBlockCheck

Day Spent On Internet Comes Full Circle

Top Headlines

Recent News

Superfoods: Myth Vs. Fact

Though the media often heralds certain foods as cancer-fighting or immune-building, many of these claims don’t hold up to scientific scrutiny. The Onion separates the myths from the facts regarding so-called superfoods

Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.

Wow, Dad Really Went From Zero To 60 With Woodworking This Summer

PAGE, AZ—Expressing their astonishment as they once again heard the sound of their father using his circular saw in the garage despite his seemingly complete lack of interest in the craft prior to last month, the children of area man Sam Morgan, 52, confirmed Tuesday that, wow, their dad had really gone from zero to 60 with woodworking this summer.

Who Is Tim Kaine?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Day Spent On Internet Comes Full Circle

DAYTON, OH—A day of web surfing poetically ended just as it began Monday, when a random string of links brought area man Howard Nagel back to the same Facebook page on which he started nine hours earlier.

According to Nagel's browser history, he followed a friend's music recommendation link to Amazon, wound through MySpace, eBay, and Craigslist, then spent several hours watching YouTube videos before ultimately following an IMDB comment-board posting back to the original Facebook page that began his epic odyssey.

"And thus, the great cycle of life continues," said Nagel, pondering the mysteries of existence as his day online drew to a close. "One more full spin of the wheel of destiny." Nagel said that he was looking forward to another "once-in-a-lifetime electronic journey" Tuesday or possibly Wednesday.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close