LOUISVILLE, KY—Following the publication of a book alleging that a member of the school’s basketball department paid women to perform sex acts for recruits, furious University of Louisville head coach Rick Pitino told reporters Wednesday that the media was trying to tarnish the name of a great escort service.
REYKJAVIK, ICELAND—The Twinlab International Powerlifting Championships ended predictably Sunday, as for the 47th consecutive year, the Transylvanian team swept the deadlifting events. "We Transylvanian lifters of the dead have a saying: 'You've got to vant it,'" said Transylvanian dark-strength coach Comte von Alucard III. "Yes The creatures of the night What beautiful powerlifting competitors they make." The Transylvanian squad will once again leave the world championship with two awards despite finishing first through third, as team officials hissed and drew back when presented with the silver medal.