CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
REYKJAVIK, ICELAND—The Twinlab International Powerlifting Championships ended predictably Sunday, as for the 47th consecutive year, the Transylvanian team swept the deadlifting events. "We Transylvanian lifters of the dead have a saying: 'You've got to vant it,'" said Transylvanian dark-strength coach Comte von Alucard III. "Yes The creatures of the night What beautiful powerlifting competitors they make." The Transylvanian squad will once again leave the world championship with two awards despite finishing first through third, as team officials hissed and drew back when presented with the silver medal.