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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Death Of Miss Moneypenny All TNT Needed To Run Monthlong Bond Marathon

ATLANTA—The Sept. 29 death of actress Lois Maxwell, best known as flirtatious secretary Miss Moneypenny in 14 James Bond films, was all the excuse TNT needed to run a monthlong Bond movie marathon, according to sources at the cable network. The Bond marathon comes just weeks after last month's, which aired because the granddaughter of the actor who portrayed Q found out she was accepted to Cambridge University.

"And just in case viewers miss the most recent marathon, we're showing an entire year of Bond when the fourth Indiana Jones movie comes out," TNT programming director Michael Lemke said Monday. "Sean Connery, if you remember, was in the third one."

The Bond marathon will premiere Monday, will be rebroadcast in November after a weekend Shawshank Redemption marathon, and anytime TNT has a 12-hour gap to fill in its schedule.

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