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Politics

Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts, talking to the high school sophomore who has become a conservative hero for refusing to learn his Spanish vocabulary.

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Defense Department Layoffs Result In Increased Video Rentals

WASHINGTON, DC—In a high-level Pentagon memo, it was revealed yesterday that the recent laying off of more than 2,500 Defense Department employees has resulted in a 31 percent increase in video rentals at Washington-area Blockbuster video stores. "I rented 12 Monkeys last night," said now-unemployed Gen. William A. Patterson. "It was pretty good. Did you ever see Muriel's Wedding? I may rent that tonight—I heard it was good." Patterson went on to recommend that the U.S. maintain a hard line against Iraq and Denis Leary's The Ref.

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