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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Defensive Clinton Campaign Releases New ‘Who Are You To Judge Me?’ Ad

NEW YORK—With the candidate facing a far more formidable challenge than expected in her pursuit of the Democratic nomination, Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign released an exceedingly defensive new commercial Wednesday titled “Who Are You To Judge Me?” “What the hell have you done?” a scowling Clinton asks during the music-free 30-second ad that is running in markets in all 50 states and features the candidate standing by herself in front of a black background, speaking directly to the camera with her arms crossed defiantly. “Have you ever been a senator? Had to consider the interests and needs of millions of constituents? Oh, wait, I know—you must have served in the president’s cabinet and delicately handled international affairs that impacted the entire world. I’m sorry, what’s that? You haven’t? Then maybe you should think for a goddamn minute before you pass judgment on me, you ingrates.” The ad reportedly ends with Clinton pointing menacingly at the viewer for a full 10 seconds before wordlessly walking out of frame.

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