adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Defensive Tackle Remi Ayodele To Write Children's Book Titled 'Tubbo Makes A Touchdown'

NEW ORLEANS—Saints defensive tackle Remi Ayodele announced plans Monday to write a children's book called Tubbo Makes A Touchdown, which he says will be the heartwarming tale of an overweight hippopotamus who bravely dives on a loose ball and scores the first touchdown of his professional career. "At first nobody wanted to play football with Tubbo, and all the skinny animals teased him and told him he smelled bad," said the 318-pound Ayodele, adding that Tubbo was loosely based on a true story. "But when Tubbo scores the touchdown, he proves he can do the same things the popular animals can do, just a little slower." Ayodele said he hopes to inspire children to believe they can accomplish anything as long as they flop down on top of their opportunities.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close