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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Democratic Scouts Head To Tampa To Get Closer Look At Mitt Romney

TAMPA, FL—In an effort to better gauge the competition, scouts for the Democratic Party headed to the Republican National Convention in Tampa this week to size up GOP presidential contender Mitt Romney. “We’ve seen him on tape, so we already know he’s got great speaking mechanics and a dominant gesturing arm,” said lead scout Karl Ponias, 68, noting that Romney has been known to “bring some serious heat” during debates. “At 6-foot-2, and with a 6-foot-3 wingspan, Romney has a body built for campaigning. Combine that with a solid stance behind the podium, and you definitely have a politician who can speak with power. And quickness? The guy can make upwards of four rhetorical points in 45 seconds. No doubt about it, he’s a five-tool candidate.” According to scouts in both parties, if Romney has any weakness in his political game, it’s mental, because when it comes to the issues he often doesn’t know where he stands.

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