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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Denis Leary Drops By Comedy Club To Try Out New Ford Commercial

LOS ANGELES—The Laugh Factory audience† received a surprise Thursday when actor-comedian Denis Leary dropped by to try out material for his upcoming Ford commercial. "I just like to get up there every once and a while, try out a new bit on the F-150's payload capacity, and see what's working, you know?" said Leary, whose unscheduled appearance bumped two struggling comedians from slots booked more than two months ago. "I've got 15 seconds on zero-percent APR financing that I think is going to kill." Leary later dealt with a heckler by showing him one of the company's many J.D. Power and Associates awards.

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