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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Denny Hamlin's Spine Bone Done Busted

FONTANA, CA—Following a collision on the final lap at the Auto Club 400 last weekend, NASCAR driver Denny Hamlin has done busted his ol’ spine bone, racing team medical staff confirmed Wednesday. “Denny came bouncin’ off that inside wall hotter’n a goat’s ass in a pepper patch an’ got his spine bone smashed up sump’n awful,” said team physician Logan McRae of Hamlin, who after plumb near snapping his standin’ pole in two reportedly was done taken away in a big whirly-plane to a local hospital, where the fancy learnin’ doctors figured his broke-up back axle was as useless as tits on a bull. “It’s a powerful fracture, but we’re fixin’ to slap some spit on’t and have our boy patched up lickety-split. He oughter be perambulatin’ di-rectly, I reckon.” Dr. McRae added that though Hamlin will eventually regain the mobility needed to resume his racing career, he may require the use of a steppin’ stick for the rest of his days.

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