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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Dental Hygienist Sick Of Being Lied To

MUNDELEIN, IL—Dawn Roycroft, a 38-year-old dental hygienist at the Park Court Mall Dental Center, said Monday that she can no longer tolerate the half-truths and outright fabrications she is exposed to hourly. "Their lips tell of daily flossing, but their gums impart a far different tale," Roycroft said. "I became a dental hygienist in order to earn a decent living, clean teeth, and make small talk, not to play confessor to unscrupulous fabulists and prevaricators." Roycroft asked the public to be candid about their dietary and brushing habits, as denial of unchecked gum-chewing and soda-drinking is "but a house built on shifting sands."

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