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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Denver Nuggets Announce Plans To Move To New York For Carmelo Anthony

DENVER—Nuggets president Josh Kroenke announced Thursday that although the franchise has been in Denver since 1967, the organization would be willing to move to New York City for star forward Carmelo Anthony if that's what it takes to keep him on the team. "It's important for him to know that we're committed to this relationship," Kroenke said at a press conference, adding that the team would try to find a small, cheap arena in Queens and see how things went from there. "Other than Carmelo and his basketball, the truth of the matter is we didn't have much keeping us in Denver. So maybe this will be a good change. Like we said when we first signed him in 2003: together forever." At press time, Kroenke assured Anthony that, were the move to happen, the Nuggets would be fine with "doing their own thing" and not spending every minute together.

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