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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Department Of Interior Brings Down Derelict Rainbow With Controlled Demolition

KANSAS CITY, MO—Saying the once-radiant arc had become little more than an eyesore, officials at the Department of the Interior announced Monday that a demolitions team had successfully brought down a derelict rainbow with a series of controlled dynamite blasts. “It was very old and faded—to be honest, it wasn’t even worth craning your neck upward to look at anymore,” said Interior Secretary Sally Jewell, adding that the detonation of explosive charges along the base of the neglected rainbow had sent the massive curved span cascading down in a shower of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. “We’re still discussing the feasibility of replacing it with a much sleeker and modernized double rainbow, but we may just use the space for more clouds that look like things.” Sources confirmed that a three-mile area surrounding the demolition site had to be cleared of all residents, as the polychromatic dust created by such blasts is highly carcinogenic.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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