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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Department Of 'Homeland' Urges All Americans To Watch This Week's Episode

WASHINGTON—In an urgent warning to the American public, the U.S. Department of Homeland advised citizens to take any and all measures necessary to avoid missing this week’s episode of the hit TV drama starring Claire Danes and Damian Lewis. “From 10 p.m. to 11 p.m. Sunday, it is absolutely imperative that you are secure and in your homes with the lights turned off and the television tuned to Showtime,” said U.S. Homeland Secretary Glenn Liston, addressing the public in an emergency broadcast carried by all major networks. “Based on screener discs we received earlier today, we are warning all U.S. residents: If you do not have Showtime, subscribe immediately. If you do have Showtime, lock your doors, kiss your kids good night, and prepare yourself for this tense and dramatic television event. We have heard credible Internet chatter indicating that what Saul has planned for Sgt. Brody simply can’t be missed.” Liston’s announcement was followed by a statement from the Secretary of Californication urging Americans to stay as far away from that Showtime program as possible.

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