adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Department Of Housing And Urban Development Issues Report Just To Keep Name Out There

WASHINGTON—Citing a lack of name recognition, officials at the Department of Housing and Urban Development issued a brief, one-page report on mortgage trends Tuesday "just to keep the agency fresh in people's minds." "In cabinet-level public service the name of the game is buzz; if you don't keep putting out these reports, you're toast," HUD assistant secretary for policy and research Raphael Bostic said, adding that while data did show a spike in second mortgages among new retirees, the important thing was that people see the department's logo up top. "These days, all you ever hear is 'Department of State' this or 'Department of Justice' that—we've got to get some of that heat." In order to get the agency's brand trending again, HUD has dispatched its street team to major cities in an effort to sign pedestrians up for its mailing list.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close