adBlockCheck

Department Of Housing And Urban Development Issues Report Just To Keep Name Out There

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Department Of Housing And Urban Development Issues Report Just To Keep Name Out There

WASHINGTON—Citing a lack of name recognition, officials at the Department of Housing and Urban Development issued a brief, one-page report on mortgage trends Tuesday "just to keep the agency fresh in people's minds." "In cabinet-level public service the name of the game is buzz; if you don't keep putting out these reports, you're toast," HUD assistant secretary for policy and research Raphael Bostic said, adding that while data did show a spike in second mortgages among new retirees, the important thing was that people see the department's logo up top. "These days, all you ever hear is 'Department of State' this or 'Department of Justice' that—we've got to get some of that heat." In order to get the agency's brand trending again, HUD has dispatched its street team to major cities in an effort to sign pedestrians up for its mailing list.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close