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Entertainment

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Department Of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series

Aerosmith plays a two-hour live set next to Route 36 in Ohio.
Aerosmith plays a two-hour live set next to Route 36 in Ohio.

WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of Transportation announced plans Wednesday to stage Traffic Jam 2013, a brand-new highway concert series that will feature popular musical acts performing for passing motorists on America’s shoulder lanes, median dividers, and overpasses.

Saying the year-round outdoor events were designed to attract music lovers of all ages to the country’s interstate highway system, department heads confirmed that more than 90 artists have already signed on, with top-drawer headliners such as Jay-Z, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Avicii, and Bon Iver set to play across the nation on more than 200 major U.S. roadways.

“Our goal was to put together exciting lineups that would encourage Americans to drive up the on-ramp of their nearest interstate, roll down the windows, and enjoy some live music as they travel,” Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said. “Whether you want to hear Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre rock the mic on a Long Beach frontage road or a rousing program from the Boston Symphony Orchestra across six lanes of I-90, we have something for everyone.”

“And tickets to get onto the highways start at just $55,” LaHood continued. “The driver of each vehicle must be 16 in most states, but otherwise these are all-ages events.”

Sponsored by Bud Light Lime and Vitamin Water, the festival will also reportedly include dance performances atop freeway guardrails, nightly movies projected onto vacant billboards, and a wide variety of local food carts and beer concession stands scattered through passing lanes.

LaHood added that for concertgoers looking for a quieter, more intimate highway music experience, there would also be several smaller acoustic sets on select exit ramps and turnarounds. In addition, he said, weekends will feature comedians such as Patton Oswalt and Aziz Ansari performing stand-up sets from inside tollbooths as they make change for motorists exiting the nation’s turnpikes.

Department officials confirmed that since presale tickets became available at midnight, more than 150,000 wristbands have been sold for Traffic Jam 2013, with most customers opting for the $200 Freeway Fun Pass, which enables its holders to traverse up to three intersecting highways to see multiple bands in a single day.

“I already bought my tickets to see Weezer, Phish, and Florence and the Machine play on the New Jersey Turnpike in March,” said New York City resident Robert Davila, adding that he was “extremely pumped” to finally hear the acoustics in the Lincoln Tunnel. “I thought about seeing Method Man in February, but honestly, I have my doubts about whether hip-hop sounds as good performed live on I-84’s HOV lane as it does on CD.”

“Besides, all of my friends say you haven’t truly experienced Phish until you’ve driven by the band at 75 mph and heard them belting out ‘Farmhouse’ from a stage on a cloverleaf interchange 100 feet above you,” Davila added. “It’s going to be amazing!”

Fan enthusiasm for the Transportation Department’s concert series was echoed by many of the entertainers slated to appear, all of whom told reporters they were looking forward to seeing their fans speed past their shows next year.

“This is my first highway gig, so I’m really thrilled to be getting out there on I-10 and playing the hits,” said musician Jack White, who will perform on the nation’s southernmost transcontinental freeway in January. “When I was a kid, I saw the Rolling Stones play on top of Old Faithful as part of the Interior Department’s 1989 National Parks concert, so I couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this.”

“That concert changed my life,” White added.

Safety advocates, however, have raised concerns about the risks of highway concerts, citing an incident last month in which three out of the four members of Coldplay were killed when an 18-wheeler veered out of control while the band was sounding checking on the Long Island Expressway.

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