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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Derek Lowe Asks Coach If He Could Dip Out Around Fourth Inning

LOS ANGELES—Dodgers pitcher Derek Lowe asked manager Joe Torre if he could duck out around the fourth inning of his start against the Cardinals this Saturday so that he could hang out with his former college buddy, Greg, who will be flying in from Chicago. "I hate to cut out early like that, but I promised Greg I'd show him Grauman's Chinese Theater and where they tape Jimmy Kimmel Live," Lowe told Torre, adding that if he stayed the full game, by the time he took a shower and left the stadium it would be close to midnight and Greg might be too tired to hang out. "I mean, it's not like we don't have a bunch of pitchers around here, and I promise I'll make it up to the team sometime. Just not next week, since my parents are coming in and I know they're going to want to get brunch Sunday." When asked for comment, Torre said that it was fine if Lowe left early, as he wasn't expecting Lowe to make it past the third inning anyway.
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