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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Derrick Rose Pretty Sure He Just Tore ACL By Looking At Knee

CHICAGO—Noting that he immediately knew something was wrong, Bulls point guard Derrick Rose confirmed Friday that there’s a pretty good chance he just tore his ACL by casually glancing at his knee. “I was sitting down on the couch and absentmindedly looked down for a split second, and that’s when I heard a loud pop and was suddenly in excruciating pain,” said Rose, adding that he felt the ligament snap the moment his knee came into his line of sight. “I wasn’t even really looking at the knee, per se—my eyes just sort of passed over it, and then I felt it go. I should probably get an MRI just to be sure, but it’s already swelled to twice its normal size, so I’m pretty positive I tore it.” At press time, Rose had also reportedly torn his PCL and MCL after thinking the word “knee.”

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