Desperate Angels Deactivate, Reactivate Vernon Wells To See If That Works

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Vol 48 Issue 35

Gun vs. Knives

Game Show 4:00 p.m. EDT/3:00 p.m. CDT Can Team Knife turn it around?

Michelle Lokey and Grant Bergen

Michelle Lokey and Grant Bergen were united in marriage Saturday in a lovely ceremony during which, let’s face it, it crossed every guest’s mind at one point or another that the couple was going to have some real pale and mole-y children.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Desperate Angels Deactivate, Reactivate Vernon Wells To See If That Works

ANAHEIM—In a final act of desperation, the Los Angeles Angels elected on Friday to deactivate underperforming center fielder Vernon Wells from their 25-man roster and then immediately reactivate him to see if that would fix the problem. "Vernon hasn't been running so smoothly lately, and he keeps freezing all the time, so we're deactivating and reactivating him a couple times because sometimes that works," said Angels general manager Jerry Dipoto, who confirmed that he instructed trainers to blow on Wells a few times while he was deactivated to remove any built-up dust. "We already tried putting some other guys into the same slot, and they worked fine, so we're pretty sure the roster's not fried. I guess we could try jiggling him, too." At press time, Wells was preparing for tonight's game against the Detroit Tigers by repeatedly removing his helmet and putting it back on again.

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