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Desperate NFL Needs Big Win To Turn Season Around

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Desperate NFL Needs Big Win To Turn Season Around

NEW YORK—After eight weeks of play with no teams emerging as clear front-runners, the National Football League desperately needs at least one spectacular win to salvage its lackluster season, sources confirmed Monday. "Dammit, guys, let's really put our heads down and work for it this weekend, because we need a big game out of you," Commissioner Roger Goodell said in an address to all 32 NFL teams, adding that one good pass and one well-executed run could lead to a touchdown that could break the season wide open. "If we don't get everyone on the same page, we might as well give up any hopes for the playoffs this year. And the Super Bowl? At this point we don't deserve a Super Bowl. Let's throw a decent block first." Goodell also made a point of saying it would not be out of the question to see as many as 32 major coaching changes if the season did not improve significantly in the near future.

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