Desperate PBS Premieres Nova: Boobs A-Bouncin'

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Vol 47 Issue 20

Man's Life Riddled With Continuity Errors

DENTON, TX—Sources confirmed Friday that the life of local marketing associate Rich Hammond has been plagued by a series of glaring errors in continuity, leading many to believe it was poorly thought out, with little regard for basic logic or consis...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Desperate PBS Premieres Nova: Boobs A-Bouncin'

ARLINGTON, VA—Scrambling to secure much-needed funding, the Public Broadcasting Service began its spring pledge drive Monday with the debut broadcast of Nova: Boobs A-Bouncin'. "We at PBS are proud to present this latest installment in our award-winning science series," PBS spokesperson David Brennan said of the two-hour special devoted to the science of breast mobility. "As you'll see, Boobs A-Bouncin' covers all the ups-and-downs, side-to-sides, and other various jiggling patterns associated with the physics of breasts in motion. Please enjoy this episode, and please, please call the number at the bottom of your screen to donate." Faced with a similar budget shortfall, NPR announced last week that it had retooled its popular show Fresh Air so that Terry Gross would now conduct all her interviews from a Sybian.

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