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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Despite Armie Hammer Profile In ‘Good Housekeeping’ Magazine, ‘Lone Ranger’ A Flop At Box Office

LOS ANGELES—In a development that stunned studio executives, the new Disney motion picture The Lone Ranger somehow flopped at the box office over its opening weekend despite a recent profile of star Armie Hammer in Good Housekeeping magazine. “We’re totally in disbelief over the way the movie has underperformed—people saw the half-page interview with Armie Hammer in Good Housekeeping, right?” Disney Executive Vice President of Worldwide Distribution Dave Hollis said of the 153-word article titled “Armie Hammer on What Makes a Good Marriage,” which mentions that the actor’s wife, Elizabeth, doesn’t like cold baths and that the couple does not keep secrets from each other. “It’s extremely frustrating when you have a film that has everything going for it—big-name stars, a $175 million marketing budget, a sidebar interview with Armie Hammer in Good Housekeeping magazine—and it’s still not enough. I mean, what more could we have done?” At press time, the film’s profits had reportedly picked up dramatically after Hammer sat down with E! News to talk about what it was like riding a horse.

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