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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Detroit Lions Begin 8-Month Megacamp

ALLEN PARK, MI—New Detroit head coach Jim Schwartz opened the Lions' first-ever megacamp Monday with a speech welcoming his players, outlining the goals he wanted the team to reach by February, and telling them ten-a-days would begin immediately. "This is a rebuilding year for the Lions, so I think we should spend the entire time training as hard and for as long as possible," Schwartz said while acknowledging that holding an extended megacamp meant the Lions would forfeit all the games in the 2009 season. "I know that means we probably won't improve on last season's record, but we have to think of the long term here." Players who were late to the megacamp were fined their first game check plus $1 billion.

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