Detroit Lions Not Buying Detroit Lions

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Vol 43 Issue 45

Bush Gets First Veto Override

For the first time in Bush's seven-year presidency, the Senate overrode a veto, for a water resources bill that would preserve wetlands. What do...

Local Boy Trapped In Family

HARRISONBURG, VA—"We're doing all we can," said Lt. Barnes, who coordinated efforts to replace the retarded hand-me-down parka that once belonged to the boy's brother.

BBC Upgrades Flap To Row

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Detroit Lions Not Buying Detroit Lions

DETROIT—Following their 44-7 victory over the Denver Broncos Sunday, players, coaches, and staff of the 6-2 Detroit Lions football team reported that the Detroit Lions football team cannot realistically be considered a legitimate contender in the National Football Conference. "Come on, the Lions are a combined 23-72 in the last six years and haven't won a playoff game since the early '90s," said Lions head coach Rod Marinelli, adding that it "won't be long" before this year's Detroit team inevitably flounders and quarterback Jon Kitna reverts back to his 2002 self. "Sure, they've won a few games, but a real playoff team doesn't lose to the Philadelphia Eagles." Kitna responded to his coach's statement by saying he wouldn't be surprised if the Lions lost by 25 points to the 3-5 Arizona Cardinals next Sunday.

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