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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Detroit Unveils New Half-Ton, 400 Horsepower Motown Singer

DETROIT—At a gala ceremony in the heart of the city’s downtown, Detroit’s civic and business leaders unveiled a new half-ton, 400-horsepower Motown singer Thursday that promises safety, reliability, and soulful, unmistakable melodies. “This fully loaded 1,000-pound tenor with deep gospel roots is what Detroit does best,” said Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers president Mitch Bainwol, showing off the performer’s rugged, road-ready construction and rhythm section with optional funk features. “It’s a dual-exhaust harmonizing machine with full horn accompaniment and superior torque-handling ability guaranteed to churn out dazzling radio singles as well as the occasional politicized street anthem.” At press time, the hybrid-electric singer’s first attempts in the studio had been postponed until engineers can fix whatever is making that rattling noise.

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