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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Detroit Unveils New Half-Ton, 400 Horsepower Motown Singer

DETROIT—At a gala ceremony in the heart of the city’s downtown, Detroit’s civic and business leaders unveiled a new half-ton, 400-horsepower Motown singer Thursday that promises safety, reliability, and soulful, unmistakable melodies. “This fully loaded 1,000-pound tenor with deep gospel roots is what Detroit does best,” said Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers president Mitch Bainwol, showing off the performer’s rugged, road-ready construction and rhythm section with optional funk features. “It’s a dual-exhaust harmonizing machine with full horn accompaniment and superior torque-handling ability guaranteed to churn out dazzling radio singles as well as the occasional politicized street anthem.” At press time, the hybrid-electric singer’s first attempts in the studio had been postponed until engineers can fix whatever is making that rattling noise.

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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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