adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Devin Ebanks Announces Intentions To Enter League They Pay You To Play Basketball At

MORGANTOWN, WV—West Virginia Mountaineers forward Devin Ebanks announced his intentions Monday to skip his final two years of college eligibility and join that one super-huge nationwide league where they give you money if you play basketball in it. "My dream has always been to go to the basketball place with all the older people who get paychecks for it," Ebanks said. "Not that I didn't cherish my time at that place with all the rooms and the talking people up front with the thick paper word holders. But that was for free, and I need to get one of those basketball jobs." When asked where he thought he would be selected in the 2010 NBA Draft, Ebanks told reporters, "On the stage part of the room with the men in suits with the ping-pong balls."

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close