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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Dez Bryant Smacks Son During Thanksgiving Game Promo

DALLAS—Posing with his family in a 10-second promotional spot for the NFL that aired during Thursday’s game between the Cowboys and Redskins, Dallas wide receiver Dez Bryant could be seen reproachfully smacking his son, Zayne Bryant, whom he noticed squirming around midway through the commercial. “Hi, I’m Dez Bryant. On this special day, our family would just like to wish you a—Zayne, cut it out,” said Bryant, who then hit the back of his son’s head in frustration, smiled and attempted to regain his composure during what the ad’s director confirmed was the cleanest take he could get. “Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving, from our home to—stop crying, now.” Sources confirmed that as soon as the camera cut away, Bryant began strangling his mother, Angela.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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