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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Dick Vermeil Tears Up During Piniella's Last Press Conference

COATESVILLE, PA—As the voice of Cubs manager Lou Piniella trembled during a farewell press conference Sunday night, former NFL coach Dick Vermeil, who watched the event from home, grew misty-eyed and found himself unable to continue as he heard Piniella speak about his 48-year baseball career. "I'd rather reflect on… on the good times I've had here," Piniella said through Vermeil's tears. "I guess this is the last time I'll put on my uniform." In recent years, Vermeil has also reportedly broken down during Jerry Rice's Hall of Fame ceremony, the season premiere of True Blood, and while watching the cook hand-spin and toss the dough for a large sausage-and-onion pie at nearby Pino's Pizzeria.

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