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Dick Vitale Undergoes Annual Bracketological Examination

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Dick Vitale Undergoes Annual Bracketological Examination

SARASOTA, FL—Emphasizing the importance of having a healthy 68-team field, college basketball analyst Dick Vitale confirmed Tuesday that he underwent his annual bracketological exam at Sarasota Memorial Hospital. “It’s obviously not the most pleasant experience, but you gotta have a bracketological checkup at least once a year just to make sure everything is okay—give me that peace of mind any day of the week, baby!” Vitale said of the invasive 20-minute screening, which entailed a deep and thorough probing of all four of his regional brackets, as well as detailed measurements of both his RPI and SOS levels. “I had a little scare when I noticed I had the University of Richmond coming out of the A10, but the doctor told me it’s nothing to be worried about. Still, better to catch anything like that before the first round rather than wait until it’s too late and wake up to a busted bracket. Love that preventative care! Love it!” After inspecting his at-large bids for abnormally high seeds, Vitale’s bracketologist reportedly warned the 74-year-old to diligently check his tournament bubble every day for any large and prominent upsets.

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