SPORTS NEWS IN BRIEF Vol 53 Issue 33

Diehard 8-Year-Old Buffalo Bills Fan Showing Early Signs Of Masochism

WEST SENECA, NY—Expressing a mixture of alarm and heartache over the boy’s recently discovered disorder, the parents of diehard 8-year-old Buffalo Bills fan Cody Brenner told reporters Tuesday that their son had begun showing early signs of masochism. “A year ago we identified the first stages of his condition, and it’s been absolutely devastating as a parent to see our little boy struggling with something like this,” said the boy’s mother Julia, noting with sadness that the little boy’s self-flagellation includes watching the entirety of every Bills preseason game, regularly checking their official team Twitter page, and, in perhaps the most tragic and definitive confirmation of his disorder, recently purchasing a Tyrod Taylor poster to proudly display in his bedroom. “I thought something might be wrong when Cody made himself so angry by obsessively rewatching clips of the Bills blowing late-game leads last year, but it was his insistence that they’re going to be good this season in the face of all objective reasoning that confirmed his masochism for me. I want to help him, but we’ve been told there’s very little we can do. I just hope he can stay strong, because he will most likely be dealing with this for the rest of his life.” The boy’s grief-stricken mother added that it was hard not to blame the boy’s condition on his father, a sadist who likely inflicted his longtime Bills fandom on his son.