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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Dirk Nowitzki Recommends Playing In NBA Games To Friends Taking Road Trip

DALLAS—Claiming they would have "so much fun" and "also get to meet some of my NBA friends," Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki enthusiastically recommended playing in NBA games when chatting Monday with several friends who were planning a cross-country road trip. "If you're going to be in downtown Phoenix, you absolutely have to drop in and play the Suns," said Nowitzki, adding that in his opinion, there's no better way to kill time in the Southwestern city. "And I think one of you said you were going to New York, right? Well, you gotta play professional basketball at Madison Square Garden against the Knicks while you're there. There's so much history in that place. Plus, New Jersey is really close, so you can get in a quick game with the Nets. Just don't try to do it all in one day." Nowitzki added that if his friends were looking for a place to stay in Chicago, they could always crash with his buddy Joakim.

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