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Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Dirk Nowitzki Recommends Playing In NBA Games To Friends Taking Road Trip

DALLAS—Claiming they would have "so much fun" and "also get to meet some of my NBA friends," Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki enthusiastically recommended playing in NBA games when chatting Monday with several friends who were planning a cross-country road trip. "If you're going to be in downtown Phoenix, you absolutely have to drop in and play the Suns," said Nowitzki, adding that in his opinion, there's no better way to kill time in the Southwestern city. "And I think one of you said you were going to New York, right? Well, you gotta play professional basketball at Madison Square Garden against the Knicks while you're there. There's so much history in that place. Plus, New Jersey is really close, so you can get in a quick game with the Nets. Just don't try to do it all in one day." Nowitzki added that if his friends were looking for a place to stay in Chicago, they could always crash with his buddy Joakim.

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