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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Dirk Nowitzki's 20,000 Points Not Worth Nearly As Much In European League

WURZBURG, GERMANY—According to current basketball point exchange rates, due to the weakened value of the NBA basket, Dirk Nowitzki's career 20,000-point total is worth just over half that much in Euroleague Basketball. "A traditional two-point American basket is worth 1.126 points in Europe," leading basket economist Dr. Benedikt Acton told reporters after Nowitzki's career milestone, later adding that while the NBA point is struggling, it is still strong against the IBL Punkt and the Chinese Basketball Association's fēn. " If Mr. Nowitzki would have remained in Germany, the value of his points would have remained stable. Then again, nobody could have predicted the soaring inflation that followed Kobe Bryant's 81-point game in 2006." Acton added that if the Celtics' defense remains strong, the NBA point could see a resurgence in the second half of the season.

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