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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Disappointing Indy 500 Viewership Prompts Organizers To Hold Race Again This Weekend

INDIANAPOLIS—Citing lower television viewership numbers than expected despite an unusually exciting race, Izod IndyCar officials announced they would hold the 2012 Indianapolis 500 again this coming weekend. "Everyone should tune in to see the record 35 lead changes, Takuma Sato's daring but ultimately disastrous attempt to take the lead on the last lap, and Dario Franchitti's triumphant third Indy 500 victory," said IndyCar chief Randy Bernard, explaining that the June 17 Indy 500 would be identical to the May 27 running, which he called one of the best in the race's long history. "Really, it was great. We have no idea why more people didn't see it the first time." Bernard later acknowledged that no one should have watched June 3's Detroit IndyCar race, which he conceded was "an unwatchable shitshow."

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