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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Disastrous Ad Campaign Appeals To Basic Human Intelligence

LOS ANGELES—A new low was hit in advertising Thursday when an ad campaign appealing to basic human logic and rationality became the single-most money-losing effort in the entire history of the industry. "We thought, let's just stick to the facts: what the product is, what it does, and why it's better than other brands," said James O'Connor, CEO of O’Connor Advertising and chief architect of the disastrously failed commercials. "As it turns out, we should have just shown 28 seconds of talking CGI pigs and then displayed the product name right at the very end." O'Connor Advertising has issued a formal apology to the viewing public, promised it will never make the same mistake again, and announced plans to produce "the perfect ad," which will feature celebrities, high-end cars, cutting-edge special effects, and snack chips.

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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