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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Discouraged Bush Begins Seeking Approval Of Other Nations

WASHINGTON—With public opinion sinking to an all-time low, a forlorn President Bush announced his intention Tuesday to "pack it in" and embark on a 192-nation trip seeking the favor and approval of a foreign country.

"I guess I'll just go find out if the citizens of Borneo, Turkmenistan, or Paraguay are willing to treat me a little better and see that I still have many appealing qualities," Bush said. "There's a lot of things I'm going to miss about America, but it's clearly time for me to go."

The president departs tomorrow for Bulgaria, which he called his favorite former Soviet state after Romania and Slovenia.

Bush added that he will spend the remainder of his presidency in the first independent state he comes across in which more than 30 percent of the population approves of the job he is doing.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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