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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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'Ditka' Chicago Man's Answer To Everything

SCHAUMBURG, IL—Almost 20 years after Mike Ditka led Chicago to their only Super Bowl victory, lifelong Chicago resident Dave Johannes continues to suggest the beloved former Bears coach and current hair-gel and erectile-dysfunction-medicine endorser as the solution to every problem of which he is personally aware. "Ditka could turn these here Bears around, you bet—and them White Sox could use some of that Ditka attitude, too," Johannes was heard telling his family, friends, and coworkers Monday. "Don't get me started on the Bulls and the Blackhawks. And that [former Illinois governor George] Ryan [corruption] trial… Ditka would get to the bottom of that, I bet. Plus, also, I got just the man to fix our mess we got in Iraq." Every Chicago resident Johannes spoke to agreed completely with his Ditka panacea, although experts generally agree that Buddy Ryan, the father of the Bears' famous "46" defense, would probably be a better choice.
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