Citing a range of factors from the lack of security glass to the fact that the cash register is situated right next to the front door, a report published Thursday confirmed that robbing the BP gas station at Reynolds and Murray wouldn’t actually be all that hard. Full article.
SCHAUMBURG, ILAlmost 20 years after Mike Ditka led Chicago to their only Super Bowl victory, lifelong Chicago resident Dave Johannes continues to suggest the beloved former Bears coach and current hair-gel and erectile-dysfunction-medicine endorser as the solution to every problem of which he is personally aware. "Ditka could turn these here Bears around, you betand them White Sox could use some of that Ditka attitude, too," Johannes was heard telling his family, friends, and coworkers Monday. "Don't get me started on the Bulls and the Blackhawks. And that [former Illinois governor George] Ryan [corruption] trial… Ditka would get to the bottom of that, I bet. Plus, also, I got just the man to fix our mess we got in Iraq." Every Chicago resident Johannes spoke to agreed completely with his Ditka panacea, although experts generally agree that Buddy Ryan, the father of the Bears' famous "46" defense, would probably be a better choice.