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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Doctors Clear RGIII’s Knee For Light Tearing

RICHMOND, VA—Calling it an encouraging sign for the 23-year-old, Redskins team doctors have reportedly cleared quarterback Robert Griffin III’s knee to resume light tearing this week, team sources confirmed Wednesday. “Robert’s knee has healed to the point where we feel he can safely start damaging the ligament again,” said orthopedist James Andrews, noting that Griffin should limit himself to simple overstretching at first before gradually easing into more challenging connective tissue ripping. “Heading into August, we plan on having Robert tear his knee more severely each day so that the tendon can be 100 percent shredded by the time the season begins.” Andrews added that if all goes according to plan, Griffin would be ready for a season-ending injury by as early as week one or two.

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