Doctors Concerned As Joe Blanton’s Goatee Flares Up Again

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Vol 47 Issue 51

How To Consume Spicy Foods

Spicy foods continue to grow in popularity, whether they agree with your palate or not. Here are some tips on how to avoid social awkwardness while consuming spicy dishes: Assure your palate you mean it no harm by giving it a little kiss before ea...

Those We Lost In 2011

North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-il, Col. Muammar Qaddafi, Family Circus creator Bil Keane, al-Qaeda founder Osama bin Laden.
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Doctors Concerned As Joe Blanton’s Goatee Flares Up Again

PHILADELPHIA—Team doctors expressed their concern about the future of Phillies pitcher Joe Blanton Tuesday after the goatee that has plagued him nearly his entire career once again flared up. "We've never seen it this bad," said team physician Steve Cohen, holding up a photo of the inflamed growth, which has reportedly swollen to twice its size since Blanton’s last checkup. "We've tried to warn Joe about this in the past, but now our fears about it spreading are being realized. At this point, we feel the only remaining solution is to cut it off entirely." As of press time, Blanton had just issued a statement saying he would seek a second opinion from a specialist.

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