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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Doctors: Still 50-50 Chance That Broken Bone Will Mean Euthanasia For Matsui

NEW YORK—Surgeons for the New York Yankees say that although Hideki Matsui seems to be healing satisfactorily two weeks after undergoing surgery to repair the broken left wrist he suffered May 11 against the Red Sox, there is still an outside chance that the outfielder will have to be put down. "You obviously don't want to think in those terms, since besides being a valuable property, he's been a real competitor," said Dr. Stuart Rosenwasser, the Yankees team physician, who performed the surgery and has been observing Matsui's recovery in a special padded stall. "It's no exaggeration to say Hideki's been a real horse for this team." If worst does come to worst, owner George Steinbrenner has said that Matsui would be put to rest along the third-base line along with euthanized Yankee greats Joe DiMaggio (bone spur) and Lou Gehrig (broken leg).

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