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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Documentary Manny Ramirez Talking About Turns Out To Be 'Billy Madison'

LOS ANGELES—After less than five minutes listening to Manny Ramirez describe a "powerful documentary" about a son who struggles to take over his father's business, Dodgers teammates concluded that the perennial all-star was actually talking about the 1995 Adam Sandler comedy Billy Madison. "I kind of figured it was Billy Madison when Manny started talking about 'the bad man' who tried to take the company from the opera singer from Saturday Night Live," teammate Mark Loretta said. "And when he said the most interesting part was learning that penguins can 'grow to be as tall as men,' that pretty much clinched it." Ramirez later told his teammates he was looking forward to a new documentary about the the auto industry, in which an overweight man and a skinny man travel across America in an attempt to sell brake pads.

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