Dodgers Grounds Crew Places Tarp Over Unsightly Crowd

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Vol 48 Issue 27

Giraffes Of The Kalahari

Discovery 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT With the help of photography and narration, viewers will get a little smarter in the giraffe department.

Dana Alvarez and Ryan Coffman

Dana Alvarez and Ryan Coffman tied the knot Saturday night at Beef ‘O’ Brady’s just to get that drunken Unification Church officiate off their goddamn backs.

The Rookie

ABC 9:00 p.m. EDT/8:00 p.m. CDT In tonight's season-four finale, everyone agrees that while, yes, Detective Sergeant is in his fourth year and should no longer be considered a rookie on the force, they will continue to consider him a rookie, because the ...

Obama Slips 'Hope' Into Speech For The Fans

A string of poorly received performances forces a sock puppet to return to a foot, a study shows that 85% of Americans don't know all of the dance moves to the national anthem, and Keith Richards' housekeeper has braced herself for finding a dead body eve...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Dodgers Grounds Crew Places Tarp Over Unsightly Crowd

LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Dodgers were forced to stop play Sunday against the Chicago White Sox to allow the grounds crew to come out and pull a tarp over the unsightly Dodger Stadium crowd. "You hate to stop the game, but it was getting next to impossible for the guys to play in conditions like that," manager Don Mattingly said of the 38,000 hideous Dodger fans who filled the stands, nearly ruining the game by being clearly visible. "I'm just glad our grounds crew reacted quickly, because Lord knows the damage those fans could have done to the facility otherwise. Somebody almost certainly would have gotten hurt." The specially made tarp used to cover Dodger Stadium attendees is the second-largest tarp in Major League Baseball behind that used by the Indians during home games to cover the rest of Cleveland.

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