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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Dodgers Grounds Crew Places Tarp Over Unsightly Crowd

LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Dodgers were forced to stop play Sunday against the Chicago White Sox to allow the grounds crew to come out and pull a tarp over the unsightly Dodger Stadium crowd. "You hate to stop the game, but it was getting next to impossible for the guys to play in conditions like that," manager Don Mattingly said of the 38,000 hideous Dodger fans who filled the stands, nearly ruining the game by being clearly visible. "I'm just glad our grounds crew reacted quickly, because Lord knows the damage those fans could have done to the facility otherwise. Somebody almost certainly would have gotten hurt." The specially made tarp used to cover Dodger Stadium attendees is the second-largest tarp in Major League Baseball behind that used by the Indians during home games to cover the rest of Cleveland.

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