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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Dodgers Offer Twins Moon, Stars For Johan Santana

NASHVILLE, TN—Dodgers GM Ned Colletti announced Monday that although he has nothing to offer in the way of financial or material wealth, he is prepared to give the Twins the most beautiful thing of all—the moon itself—in exchange for pitcher Johan Santana. "I come to you today with no worldly possessions—save only my dreams. But to obtain the one you call Johan, I would happily toss a lasso 'round the moon and pull it down for you, or set a ladder amongst the stars and pluck them one by one from the night sky," Colletti shouted up to Twins GM Bill Smith, who stood on the balcony of the Opryland Hotel. "And should you not be satisfied with our package of the moon at night, the stars so bright, the sun that lights your days, and all that sparkles and shines in Heaven and on Earth, we may be willing to part with first baseman James Loney." After the Twins rejected his offer, Colletti promised the A's his hand in marriage in exchange for Danny Haren.

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