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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Dolphins Struggling To Get Shy Rookie To Participate In Practice

DAVIE, FL—Explaining that the rookie is shy and easily discouraged, Miami Dolphins coaches told reporters Thursday that they were having trouble getting wide receiver Andrell Smith to participate in practice. “Andrell is such a sweet kid and we’re trying to get him involved, but so far he hasn’t really come out of his shell,” said offensive coordinator Mike Sherman, noting that when a play starts, Smith usually just stands by himself near the sideline or runs off on his own without looking at the quarterback. “The trouble is, he’s too timid to call for the ball even when he’s open, and in the huddle he barely says a word. The only time I actually heard him talk was when he came up to me and quietly said he wanted to go home.” Sherman added that he and the other coaches also wanted to encourage young quarterback Ryan Tannehill to share better with receiver Mike Wallace.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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